halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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