The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
