Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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