What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
