I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
