just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
