It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
