The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
