as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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