he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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