all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
