just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
