Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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