Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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