we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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