evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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