You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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