Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
did you just send me my own nude
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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