anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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