I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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