I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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