also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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