Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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