Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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