I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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