We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
