She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
