Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
