I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
