His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Randomize
