I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
