we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
