the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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