Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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