My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Boobs speak an international language.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
