I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
