Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
