Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
