i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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