So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You ate ashes out of my bong
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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