Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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