It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It's Friday. Sex?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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