I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
