I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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