And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
