just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
