I love black thongs
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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