I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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