My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
