I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
